So, there I am, nearing the end of a busy shift. It's gone well, I've made money, and soon it will be over. All's right with the world.
One of my tables, a mid-thirties couple, was nearing the end of their evening as well. They asked to see a dessert menu, and I, dutifully as always, got it for them.
What follows is, pretty much, verbatim what occurred next:
Me: Here you are, folks. In addition to the items we have on our menu, we also have a Key Lime Pie with a fresh raspberry coulis.
Man at the table: Do you have any suggestions? I mean, you look like the kind of guy who's had a few desserts in his day.
Me: (blink) Well... I... uh... appreciate that sir. The chocolate mousse is probably my favorite. Let me know if you have any other questions.
Now, what follows is, pretty much, verbatim what went through my head:
Me: Motherfucker! We just met.
Let's be clear, I'm not fat. I could stand to lose 15 pounds or so, but I'm by no means fat.
There's nothing like the restaurant business to restore your faith in the basic decency of humanity.
They had the chocolate mousse, incidentally, and they tipped 10%. Insulting and cheap.
here's what I have (had) to say about that:
Dylan: Work was fine.. busy...
Dylan: except for a guy calling me fat
Me: omg!
Me: first of all..
Me: guy calling another guy fat? Gay.
Me: and I don't mean homosexual
Dylan: totally...
Dylan: I just wrote about it... it's up on my blog
Me: lol
Me: I'll check it now
Me: I'm a fast reader
Dylan: It's a short post, anyway
Me: oh, what a bastard!
Dylan: no shit..
Me: Normally, I have a problem with guy-on-guy cock punching, but he totally deserved one.
Dylan: It was actually kinda funny, except that he'd said it to me.. I at least got some joy out of telling the story and making everyone at work laugh...
Me: no way, its not in any way funny. People who make lowest common denominator jokes should be sterilized.
Posted by: Melissa | August 28, 2005 at 01:27 AM
Ugh. Totally out of line. People have no idea how much they're risking when they mess with restaurant staff. Life in your own hands.
You could have been pushing 500lbs. and been unable to walk under your own power and STILL it's not appropriate. Why don't people consult me or Miss Manners about these matters??!?! Maybe I'll set up a hotline.
Posted by: Megarita | August 28, 2005 at 07:35 AM
WTF!? lol...I'm still in shock.
Posted by: Humor Girl | August 28, 2005 at 01:33 PM
How rude. That really stikes a nerve with me. I am proud that you handled that with such courtesy and grace. It's people like you who restore my faith in humanity. Although, it's people like him who consistently shatter my faith in humanity thereby requiring someone else to restore it. It's an endless cycle!
May I also add, for the benefit of any one either insensitive or moronic who may read this, skinny people have feelings, too. Asking if I have an eating disorder is not only extremely inappropriate and rude, it's hurtful and IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHY I'M THIN. I am frequently appalled that people feel the need to comment on other people's appearance. Sheesh.
Posted by: Ms. Q | August 29, 2005 at 11:55 AM
Myself, being a guy who could very obviously stand to lose 50 pounds or so, would still find this extremely insulting. Fucking people!
Posted by: jo-fo | August 29, 2005 at 01:53 PM