Quick Hits

I'm walking my dog today (and it just occurred to me that many of my "this is what happened to me today" posts start with this phrase, which might lead some to believe that the only interaction I have with the outside world is when I walk my dog). As I was walking him, there was an old lady, probably in her 70's, smoking a cigarette on her patio. "That's a cute dog, said she, to which I replied, "Thanks, he's a handful." Literally, the next sentence that came out of her mouth was "I just moved here with my son because I am recovering from a stroke and a brain hemorrhage."

What the hell can you say to that? I think the sound that came out of my mouth was something like "ohhhmmmba," with a look of concern mixed with the surprise that comes from such an immediate admission from someone you've known for 5 seconds. "I'm doing better now, though," she said. About the only response I could muster up, as Mayer and I walked on was, "Well, welcome to the neighborhood!"

I was thinking about how strange it was that someone would share that much information about themselves with no ramp up in the conversation, but the more I think about it, when I'm 70, I'm almost positive I'm gonna be the same way (and people who know me are reading this and nodding their heads vociferously, a word I'm now in love with thanks to our fearless leader).
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Christopher Reeve died today. That is sad, if only because there is no doubt in my mind that he truly believed that one day he would walk again.

On a lighter note, how long do you think the Bush campaign will use this to attack John Kerry?

"On Friday night, John Kerry told America that Christopher Reeve was exercising his muscles so they'd be strong for the day when stem cell research cured his paralysis. Now he is dead. John Kerry: Wrong on Stem Cell Research, wrong on Superman, Wrong for America. paid for by citizens for the reelection of the president"

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Chuck commented on my Ken Caminiti post from last night, and it led me to realize that I my language might have been a bit inaccurate. Caminiti's death can just as easily come from his admitted rampant use of cocaine as it could have from his admitted steroid use.

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Two posts I that I owe today: Thoughts on Friday Night's debate and the long overdue Six Feet Under finale review. I promise both will come today.

Comments

[Lori]

Ya know, Dylan. I had a very similar experience today. I went by my doctor's office to pick up some MRI films that they were about to throw away and since the whole experience DID cost me $2,600 I figured I might as well keep my films. If nothing else they could become some rather interesting art....

So, as I was picking up my films there was an elderly woman picking up her films. She was probably about 80. As we rode down the elevator she said "They recommended that I do physical therapy and it really helped. Did you do physical therapy?" I said yes, as a matter of fact I did. She asked where I did my physical therapy and I said in Colleyville. To which she responded "My husband is buried at at Bluebonnet cemetary."

I can only assume that this cemetary is in Colleyville, but I had no idea how to respond to this. "I'm sorry" didn't seem right. "That's nice" was definitely not right. I think I said "Oh. I know where that is." Which isn't even true.

As we walked out to the car she said "I hope you keep feeling better." And I wished her well also.

I like that lady. Maybe she needed someone to talk to. I wish I hadn't been surprised speechless by the mention of where her husband is buried. She'd probably be a lovely person to talk to. It's just so rare that someone engages you on a REAL level as you go about your day that it can be very disorienting when it happens.

[Aubrie]

As someone who works day in and day out with older adults (most of whom are in the hospital or nursing home) I can totally relate to the scenario. And here's a little piece to think about: most older adults have no one living with them, or just an elderly spouse. If they live with the spouse, they've been married for a million years and don't usually speak much because they don't need to anymore. If they live alone, they most likely have very little interaction with people. Even if they live with family, the energy it takes to keep up with the younger generation is usually more then they have on a daily basis.

Most people talk about things that take us aback because they don't have the energy (nor the desire to take the time) to make small talk when they have something on their minds. Most of my patients will tell me that they talk to younger people because they know that we will listen, mostly because we don't want to be rude.

While this doesn't help the awkwardness, just remember that they are reaching out for understanding -- not sympathy. They just want someone to acknowledge that they are hurting inside. For most of them it is cathartic release.

Sometimes all they want is a smile in return.

[Lori]

Excellent point, Aubrie.

I was thinking the same thing, as the experience has stayed with me for the last 24 hours. It's one of those things that if I had it to do over again I would say "Would you like to get a cup of coffee?" As we walked by the hospital cafeteria. I bet that woman has so many fascinating stories to tell. It would be amazing to hear about her life. And it absolutely breaks my heart to think about how lonely so many elderly people are.

I've got to remember to STOP being in such a hurry every minute of the day.

[Dylan]

It is a hard thing to remember, that seniors aren't just people that have difficulty getting around, but sometimes they have difficulty connecting on a human level on a daily basis.

By the way, when readers see Aubrie pop up, that is my incredibly smart sister.

[Aubrie]

Incredibly smart and... did you forget to say beautiful and talented? You do realize the more sucking up you do, the better your christmas present will be. :-)